The Certified Mentor® and The Certified Christian Mentor®
by Phillip L. Blansett, Ph.D.
Copyright © 1996 - 2005
1621 Eagle Trace Drive
Mount Juliet, TN 37122-7428
Voice (615) 758-7568
Fax (509) 271-9855
Internet EMail: Blansett@mail.serve.com
World Wide Web Internet: http://www.serve.com/Blanset t
Click here for overview of The ELIJAH PROGRAM +++Or Here for a MENTOR Application

When you submit an application, you will receive FREE (if by internet) all 14 Chapters of the Mentor Manual.
(If you apply by mail, we will only charge our cost for postage and zeroxing.)

The purpose of the Certified Christian Mentor(tm) Course is to give the practicing and identified Christian, who is called to minister to others, a working knowledge of temperament and how it affects every aspect of our lives. The course is designed to give Biblically sound scientific insight and knowledge into the inner workings of man.

In this Christian Mentor(tm) Course, you will learn about temperament. You will learn how the temperament is the cause of nearly all the inter and intra personal conflicts of man. With this new knowledge you will be better equipped to be a mentor to those people with problems ranging from parenting to aging, from family dysfunction and adolescent rebellion to different learning and relating styles. You will also learn how to apply your knowledge of temperament in a workable Mentoring discipline.

Upon completion of this course of study, and upon successfully passing the exam, you enter an internship program. It is during that internship that you will administer the Temperament Analysis Profile which is our Christian Mentor(tm) test report that identifies the temperament on those for whom you are the mentor. With the results of the test in hand, you will gain the practical experience needed to meet our requirements to be certified as a Christian Mentor(tm).

In the early establishment of Christianity, the church was solely responsible for the counseling, the Mentoring, of its people. Because of the perception that the Christian community is not qualified to counsel its people, the humanists have largely taken over the responsibility of counseling. They believe that we do not have any real solutions to human problems such as depression, anxiety, juvenile rebellion and abnormal stress. We believe that no one is better qualified to counsel than those who know and understand man's unique position in the plan of creation and realize the place which God has for man in eternity.

As we have seen on countless occasions, the problems in a family, the problems of a child or adolescent, the problems of father and mother are not only caused by sin in their life, but also by the complicated fast-paced world in which we live --- a world that threatens man's emotional stability. Our goal is to help God's children reach their full potential in the world. We cannot reach that goal unless we use a combination of ALL historical, scientific and Biblical knowledge we can find, and bring it into the field of Christian counseling which we call Mentoring.

We have taken spiritual knowledge and Biblical truths, combined these with scientific knowledge and have applied this to our everyday lives. The historical background shows us how man has remained the same throughout history, but the world has changed so radically that the problems man faced a thousand years ago are not the problems he faces today; and the problems he faces today were not even thought of by his ancestors.

The divorce rate in our country has skyrocketed to above 51%. There is an epidemic of domestic violence, which includes child abuse. The children of this world have become victims -- victims of sexual abuse and kidnapping. Sexual sins such as fornication, infidelity and adultery have become commonplace and accepted. Parents are afraid to spank their children, and are too timid to instill their own virtues and values. The divorce rate and the violence in the home, the instances of alcoholism, child abuse, drug abuse and suicide are only a few of the outward signs that man can no longer handle the stress and pressures of today's lives.

As Certified Christian Mentors(tm), we must teach the people of this world, not only to deal with these stresses and pressures, but to keep their lives spiritually strong and morally straight in the midst of them. We must help them find peace in their circumstances. This is a challenge the Christian community has never faced before, to such magnitude, and we must rise to meet the challenge. This is why we are presenting the concepts of Certified Christian Mentortm. We feel that these are Biblical and scientific tools to effectively help the Certified Christian Mentor(tm) help the people of God.

WHAT IS TEMPERAMENT?

Temperament, in simple terms, is the genetic inborn part of man that determines how we react to people, places and things. In short, it is how we interact with our environment and the world around us. Temperament pinpoints our perceptions of ourselves and the people who love us. It is also the determining factor in how well we handle the stresses and pressures of today.

Temperament is made up of three specific areas:

INCLUSION - the intellect

CONTROL - the will or will power

AFFECTION - the emotions

The human being is made up of three specific parts, and they are:
(a) physical
(b) emotional
(c) spiritual

To gain peace within himself and with his environment, he must maintain balance in these three areas. Within each of these areas there are specific needs which must be met. The needs in each of the areas must be kept in balance for the individual to remain at peace with himself and his environment.

The Mentoring process is designed especially to show people how to meet temperament needs in all three areas: inclusion, control and affection. The three steps to meeting these needs are:
(1) through a change of environment
(2) through a change of thinking process
(3) through a relationship with God that is conducive to the needs of the individual Temperament.

When the student, his parents and siblings have learned how his temperament needs must be met (in these three ways), balance is restored to the temperament, and a strong foundation is laid for emotional well-being and spiritual growth.

RESPONSIBILITY, CORRECT MOTIVE, AND BECOMING CHILDLIKE

When beginning to Mentor an individual, child, sibling or parent, it is our responsibility to make them aware that they are:
(1) responsible for their own self.
(2) responsible for their own behavior.
(3) responsible for their own sins.

We have learned that one of the major pitfalls in secular counseling is that it removes responsibility from the individual's shoulders and transfers it to another. How many times has the professional counselor heard, "I would never have done that if my mother and father had treated me better."

This kind of reasoning is destructive to the individual and is Biblically incorrect, because the Word is explicit in its teachings that each individual is responsible for his own behavior. God will not ask what was done to us (their behavior), He will only be concerned with how we reacted (our behavior).

In Certified Christian Mentoring, it is our responsibility to help the child and his parents and siblings recognize that they are responsible for their own behavior (in all situations) and their sins. This not only affords them the opportunity to know they must answer for what they have done, it also gives them the knowledge to understand why they do the things they do (react to unmet needs) and to stop doing them or find alternatives that are not sinful.

Our Christian Mentor(tm) program takes this responsibility to a greater depth by:
(a) making man aware of his responsibility for his behavior and sin.
(b) helping man to know himself
(c) helping man to see why he does what he does.
(d) helping man to know why he repeats those behaviors (which is most distressing)

The mentor will no longer hear the feeble excuses, "I couldn't control myself," or "the devil made me do it."

The subconscious drive of the temperament is placed under the conscious mind. By doing this, the person can then place this part of his mind under the blood of Jesus --- which is what Christian Mentoring is all about.

Now, the child, sibling and/or parent realizes that he is not only answerable for the willful sins in his life, he knows he must also atone for those things which he believed were beyond his control. The mentor cannot only confront those things which he knows to be displeasing to God, but he can also tell the student, siblings and/or parent why it happens and how to overcome it. For example, the mentor can say, "I know that what your mother did was terrible. This is the reason why you keep replaying it in your mind, and because of this unresolved anger, you beat and abuse your children. Now that you understand it, you cannot continue to excuse this bad behavior. You can overcome and learn to be a better parent.

Another goal of Christian Mentoring is to teach you to know and understand your rights and callings. The Christian Mentortm has the right and calling to teach, instruct, encourage, advise, listen, love and believe in the child, siblings and parents being mentored. Christian Mentoring helps the Mentor do all of these.

Teaching, instructing, and advising are all made easier, for not only are you doing all of the above based on the Word of God and the principles given to us in the Bible, but you are teaching, instructing, and advising them on the things they sometimes understand the least, and that is, themselves. From the scores of the Temperament Analysis Profile, the Mentor is able to tell the individual things about themselves, he knows what motivates them and appears to have insight into the secrets of their heart and mind --- immediately giving credence to all that the mentor says. The mentor has proven his expertise and the student, sibling and parents are more likely to listen to the teaching, instructing and advice given by the mentor.

Encouragement is more effective when used in conjunction with Temperament Therapy. In many instances a mentor may see a child, or a parent, who is emotionally at the end of their road. They have repeated the same sins over and over again, or they have lived their life by all the rules and regulations that have been provided for them, yet they are still filled with despair. This not only makes them feel like a failure in their own eyes, but they also feel as if they have failed God --- and He has failed them.

In understanding Temperament Therapy, the mentor can not only explain this roller coaster of behavior, but can also explain why they feel so bad. He can also tell them how to feel better about themselves and the world in which they live. When the mentor begins to use these techniques, they can even cite examples of people who have had similar experiences, and have overcome, to become better people.

RETURN THE STUDENT TO A CHILDLIKE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS PARENTS

Returning children, regardless of age, to childlike relationships with his parents ... and returning parents to a childlike relationship with God, is the central purpose of the Christian Mentoring Program of Counseling and Consultation Associates. Today, a serious problem that faces the Church, Christians, and our nation, is that we have placed conditions on our faith and on family relationships and do not really believe that God really does know what is best for us, and do not really believe that parents do really know what is best for their children.

CONCLUSION TO THE CERTIFIED CHRISTIAN MENTORtm: A METHODOLOGY

In conclusion, You have learned that temperament needs must be met, and that most inter and intra personal conflicts, that result in the need for mentoring, are a direct result of temperament needs:
(a) not being met
(b) being met in ungodly ways

There is one thing that we have not told you, and yet we feel is a vital "tool" which contributes to the success of the mentor. When the student, siblings and parents come to you for the very first session (the session where the Temperament Analysis Profile is administered), they should be handed a plan which you intend to follow. In other words, they should be given a written format explaining what you intend to do at the second, third and fourth sessions, or within the second, third and fourth phases of the mentoring process.

No other therapeutic approach encourages the mentor to let the student and his family know, from the initial session, what will be discussed during each session. This will allow your mentoring to proceed with ease and great accomplishments will be made. Providing the student and his family with a "plan" is a relatively new idea. Most mentors do not even have a plan. This is the greatest mistake being made by Christian mentors today. We must have a plan (a format) to follow and a specific goal to achieve during each session. The following is our Christian Mentortm's session by session, phase by phase therapeutic approach. Concise Therapeutic Mentoring Format Sometimes it is very difficult to come to a Mentor and seek help. It may help you if we explain some important facts. First of all, your Mentor is a specially trained and Certified Christian Mentor(tm).Your mentor has a session-by-session format to follow in order provide Mentor Guidance. Of course, if a goal is not accomplished within a session, it will carry over to the next session. The format is as follows:

Phase One:
You will be asked to complete a Questionnaire called a FIRO-B (one for each member of the family. If you fill this out rapidly, and try to answer the questions honestly, it will provide your Mentor(tm) with precious information that will give him insight he needs in order to help you.

Phase Two:
You will be asked to provide the Mentor with current information and to describe the problem(s) you and each member of the family is facing.

Phase Three:
Your Mentor will be teaching you about your unique temperament and explaining your individual needs.

Phase Four:
Now that your Mentor knows about the problem(s) you are facing and has taught you about your needs, he will proceed to work with you in an attempt to identify your unmet needs and those needs which are currently being met in ways which are causing inter/intra personal conflict.

Phase Five:
During this phase, you and your Mentor will be working together to find more appropriate ways to meet your needs.

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